I normally only update this blog once a month, but with the way things have been lately with the “Shelter In Place” order – or more aptly called Quarantine – I find myself getting antsy and a little stir crazy. I am thankful to still have a job and still be taking home a paycheck every week, and it does get me out of the house for about 8 hours a day. But, where do you think I’m at right now while updating this blog? Yes, that’s right, I’m at “work.”

Without going into too much personal detail about what it is I do (I do like to keep some anonymity online) with the Government shutting almost everything down and people staying home, there isn’t a whole lot going on in the Office I work in. So I’m finding myself with more and more free time on my hands (and hey, bonus, more and more cash in my bank account since I’m not BUYING anything!) and just in the last day or two the boredom has started to seep in. And I mean seriously seep in. Luckily the anxiety hasn’t hit me yet, but I know it will, and that in itself is anxiety causing. But I am just genuinely B-O-R-E-D!

I have plenty of things to do, sure, but I don’t want to do any of them, because I’m just over it at this point. Nothing seems to peek, or keep, my interest for very long. I need to find something I haven’t done yet, something that will make me learn something new, a new craft or a new useful tool in life. ANYTHING! Whatever it is, I need it to consume my mind and keep my mind busy and focused and not able to wander. Something to hold my attention longer than 15 minutes, or I’m going to fucking lose it soon.

At this point, I’m willing to get in my car and take a two and a half hour car ride in a giant fucking circle just to get out of the house and feel like I’m going somewhere. I’m not sure how much longer this Quarantine is going to last. Our Governor here says until the end of the month – but am I the only one starting to wonder if that’s true? To wonder, what if? How much longer can we suspend the state of the world before things start to get really fucking dire? I’m thankful to still have a job and to be getting paid, yes, but for how much longer? With the way things have drastically slowed down, there’s a complete possibility this job could disintegrate.

I’m keeping a very cautious yet watchful eye on all of this. Which is why I need something to do! Or pretty soon I’m going to start writing on the walls like a mental patient, chronicling day to day life, counting, rationing, and eventually going insane. No, not that bad, but I’m close. I don’t want to get to the point where I just sleep all the time, then I’ll become depressed and that’s not a feeling I’m willingly going to walk into. Maybe I will brave the local Walmart today and see what I can find… because I’m really tired of cleaning.